Being jealous is so exhausting. fear of abandonment / quiet bpd. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: why is it best to not make ex bod gf jealous Pages: [ 1 ] Go Down and I don’t know what to say to him. Also, I wanted to prove better, I wanted to Mar 27, 2018 · One of the primary characteristics of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is emotion dysregulation. Work on yourself to keep it going effortlessly. They're not together for a while now and they don't even speak anymore, it's been 8 months. It’s like a craving for a familiar/safe feeling and maybe a trauma response. The third step to stop intrusive thoughts about your Ex is to shift your attention to something positive or pleasurable intentionally. I don't have many friends that I don't share with my boyfriend, so maybe that's the problem. He deliberately showed off his gf, wanting to make me jealous and was so smug abt it lmao n was PDAing like crazy otp w her and I was jealous asf ofc hahaha. It's so stupid and embarrassing that I don't even know if I can tell my boyfriend about it because what can I say: Hey, I'm jealous that your friends liked your ex and I'm afraid that they will like other girls in our group of friends more than me. This is how he sees you. 💢Venting Post. It made the relationship abusive (though nobody was being malicious) and he told me I was unloveable because of my past. Symptoms of NPD are: a sense of grandiosity and self-importance. Nov 16, 2023 · Being in a relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be overwhelming and frustrating. I've felt this way over ex girlfriends before, I don't know why. I think it is hard to tell Because everyone is different and even though they are disordered they are human too, if it helps, my ex had that same extreme level of jealousy that you explain here. Considering you have BPD, you're probably more attentive and caring towards your bf than his ex was, which is a healthy trait to have. I don’t know how to stop being jealous whenever I see a pretty girl, especially when I’m around my boyfriend. Proper treatment, therapy, and support can significantly improve their quality of life. Members Online FaeFromFairyland 43 votes, 13 comments. Mar 3, 2022 · 2. The simplest way to explain it, is the idealise/devaluation cycle. Topic: Was your ex always incredibly jealous? (Read 366 times) Jb101. I believe he did it to try to feed his OCD narcissistic needs. I just…. Yes they are. In reality you're reacting as any normal person would to a situation that you see as a threat to your relationship. However, whenever i think about him loving her before me and doing romantic things for her make me viscerally mad. Yeah it was dumb of me. I wanted to cry and I felt so hurt that he did that bt then I calmed down n Jealous of his past. Aug 6, 2014 · Re: How much of their behavior is an deliberate attempt to make us jealous? « Reply #1 on: August 06, 2014, 04:21:06 AM ». Individuals with BPD don't have a reduced life expectancy solely due to the disorder. Whenever i imagine my boyfriend being affectionate with his ex i feel anger. I would go on her Facebook every single day, even at work and compare myself to her Aug 21, 2023 · The process of navigating a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a unique challenge because of the unique nature of these relationships. BPD'S get jealous to the extreme, even if they don't want you they like it for you to be "avaliable" in case they want you at some point down the line. Intense emotions, as well as an unstable sense of self typical of BPD, can impact the way that relationships develop. She is his past, you are his future. He winds up getting mad often, saying he wasn’t mad before I asked/accused him of being mad 300 times. One of the biggest "issues" that we're facing is that she's feeling very jealous to past sexual experiences I've had with a few certain people that have remained my friend. The thing you need to remind yourself is she’s a baby and a relative. First of all, you’re not crazy. Everytime you feel annoyed remind yourself you’re being silly and put the thought out of your mind. Posted by u/deadpandemonium - 3 votes and 5 comments Absolutely. Gives them a sense of power and control. I feel sick. However, part of me is jealous. It makes them feel better to know they can still get any kinda response out if you. 13. Then she started to poke at my innocence, I never was in adult relationship or sexually experience. This was the cause of countless fights with my ex upwBPD. Within the the first week their were clues it might be a problem for her. It took me many-many sessions in therapy just to be able to handle the thought that my partner had a past. When a partner with any of these backgrounds is feeling jealous or r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. Men with BPD may be especially likely to suspect that a partner is being unfaithful Oct 20, 2023 · Jealousy is a normal human emotion, but pathological jealousy, also known as delusional jealousy or morbid jealousy, is a psychiatric symptom in which the afflicted person is irrationally Oct 14, 2019 · Sarah Burgess, an illustrator who lives with BPD, knows what it’s like to feel misunderstood in her emotional reactions, so she created a comic to address an emotion that can be particularly difficult for people with BPD — jealousy. Whilst I understand that this can be uncomfortable for one with or without BPD, I understand that those with BPD might react more intensely and emotionally than those without. She said she didnt have her own space. They may focus all their attention on you, singing your praises, and demanding your He had constantly said to me that he just wanted a simple relationship, insinuating that I was complicated. And then for month and months I’ll beat myself up about what happened/the situation even if it wasn’t my fault! It’s very common, the extremely jealous behaviors are really exhausting and difficult to deal with. Jealous of the attention she is receiving, jealous of the fact that she has a "justification" to feel bad. 7. So weird because it's just false thinking but still bugs me ! I was with my ex (suspected with bpd by my psychiatrist) for 3. Baby step every day is the motto. They are intrinsically connected. Intense Emotions and Rapid Mood Swings. my fp is an ex-girlfriend of mine, but we have a very close friendship now after a break of a few months. My ex-wife was jealous of the love I had for My Daughter. In comparison to him, I had no sexual or dating history - so I found it very confusing that he was jealous of my minimal interactions with other men (whether that be colleagues, acquaintances, even watching tv/movies/celebrities). For those who aren’t familiar with BPD, it’s a condition marked by nine classic symptoms, one of which is Try to shift your mindset over to that he's with you now, rather than her, and there's something about you that appeals to him more than her, but in a good way. This usually makes me lash out and say things I shouldn’t. Hai everybody! I’m curious to know how your fear of abandonment shows up in those with quiet bpd. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Exes who pretend to be over you will give you obvious non-verbal signs that are hard to overlook. Focus on you and him. Dr. Apr 26, 2024 · The idea that BPD life expectancy is 27 is a misconception. Dec 7, 2023 · You Experience Jealousy. I became intensely jealous of her, even though he never ever talked about her - positively or negatively. she takes longer to text me, presumably because she's busy but Jan 1, 2021 · What were the weirdest things your BPD ex was jealous about? Probably I won't be able to mention everything he was jealous about but here are some examples: *jealous about everyone I had on my Facebook (I deactived my fb after few months of our r/s because I thought it will make things easier) The worst part is its hard to know if they were actually intentionally trying to make you jealous OR if they literally so disconnected from reality they don't even realize that what they are saying IS so unreasonable. Mar 5, 2018 · 3)Non-verbal giveaways. I feel like I have no right to express how I feel because it’s unjustified and crazy. Yes. If they leave you, it's because they don't think they can get anything else out of you. I had a really bad reaction and even after a little over half a year he still plagues my thoughts every day. My bpd ex literally thought she was in competition for attention with my 10 year old daughter, took me to eventually realise she had all this underlying resentment towards her if I gave my daughter any attention whatsoever, it would be ok if we were doing family activities together (there were also two young boys in the blended I’m jealous on my exwbpd, we got to talk for a little a week ago , and even if it was unwanted because quite frankly I did not ask them how they’re doing or anything about their life, they told how their life got so much better, how they’re not depressed anymore , how they got a lot of cash and they’re gonna travel etc etc , call me petty if you want but I hate seeing how happy they May 19, 2021 · Narcissistic personality is a cluster B personality disorder. Now I feel like I lost some competition and this girl is better than me in my head and I hate her. I’m in a new relationship, and it’s been going great. . It's why they triangulate so much and are non comittal, they want options and escape routes always. The double standards was like a kid. At first when I was dating ex had her own place (she's childless) and I had mine. There is no nurture instinct there. So I knew she got around, I didn’t care though. haven’t seen any posts about this yet. I (27 F) don’t know if this belongs here. Nevertheless, many people have strong relationships with someone who has BPD. Retroactive jealousy means feeling threatened by your partner’s past relationships or experiences. Please don't beat yourself up over how much Once he started university he was busy and got a girlfriend so he stopped texting me. My BPD is acting up though, as well as my AVPD which has been actually fucking crippling. My ex had a lot of commonalities with your ex that and I have no doubt in my mind both of our exes were undiagnosed PWBPD: I'm actually just crazy trying to somehow find answers to her disgusting behavior. This desire for closure could also extend to seeking "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Jan 12, 2024 · What I mean by the title is I have two children age 11 and 8 that lived with us three nights a week when I was with ex gf. I would die for him and yet he was willing to drop me as soon as he found new company. I am 8 months out of a one year relationship with a exWBPD. It’s actually awful. After a 4 year stint with my BPD ex, I’m now jealous of all the attractive women around me. I have quiet bpd myself and I find when I’m being abandoned I don’t show how hurt I truly am. I think they like to check in periodically to see if they can still get a reaction from you or control you. . (Read 370 times) paintingitblack. I’d categorize it as a form of self harm, but not sure if this fits exactly how you’re feeling. In the UK anyway x. When I met my wife, we dated for 4 days. Sep 14, 2018 · 4. Feb 23, 2021 · Key Points: Excessive jealousy is a common experience for those with borderline personality disorder (BPD). By devaluing you, she is 'creating space' for idealising the next person (by comparison). One common motivation is the need for closure. She's far gone from his life now. It's possessive and unfair to them but anytime you're not #1 it feels like they might be replacing you. Roberts notes that the person with BPD demonstrates an “ anxious-preoccupied attachment style . Consider speaking with your partner about your experience. Hang in there and I’m always open to talk more one-on-one if anyone needs that extra support. Both are equally possible. Oh yes, I've struggled with this for a long time. Dec 30, 2023 · Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. i'm not interested in her romantically, or sexually even as I am celibate and also sober (weed/alcohol made me more impulsive) but every time she starts dating/seeing someone new I get this jealousy that I cant seem to control. He does nothing that warrants me feeling like this but it’s a joy of bpd. We’d always go out and do fun things. I’m jealous of him. That’s because our bodies from head to toe react to our surroundings. My ex husband claims that he never cheated on me, but for some reason over the course of time I’ve become increasingly suspicious and jealous about other 16 votes, 19 comments. Factors like suicide risk, co-occurring conditions, and self-harm behaviors contribute to this misunderstanding. My ex actually told me when we got together that she wants to organise a get together with all her ex's to show them that she has me. ago. My ex pwBPD did that a lot. Seeing you with a friend of the opposite sex immediately triggers them because they can perceive how they see friends of the opposite sex, i. Sort by: Best. It's like damage control; try to stop hurting the people around you. e. These symptoms can lead to various complications in personal and professional relationships, including heightened feelings of jealousy. As someone with a BPD mother, absolutely they get can jealous of their own kid. She loved when we were babies because she got so much attention. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD… If this is an area your boyfriend has never made you feel insecure about in the past- and it’s only about this girl- then you need to hold on to what he’s told you before. a strong When I am saying extreme I mean crazy-ass out of this world jealousy. Seems she was jealous I could go without sex. Boosts their ego. Ever since childhood, my mom has always been jealous of people I am close to. I know the way I feel is a mix of PTSD from my past relationships and BPD. Reply. They reflect our thoughts, desires, fears, and even insecurities. On one hand you’re feeling the immense pain of jealousy, on the other it feels so good to feel that negative emotion. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. Alright, alright, I’m not saying that I would ever expect my boyfriend to love me more than his own mother, but the harsh reality is that Notice how your body feels, in the present moment, without judgment. I don’t want her to have him. I remember saying once, "you're my little love Bugg," to my daughter. when you were in it. A favorite person is the center of attention of an individual living with BPD. About my feelings, my reasons/logic, ideas, debates, etc. One of the main reasons we become jealous of our ex’s new life is because we’re having thoughts about how much better things were with them. Dec 14, 2021 · At the start of the relationship, your partner with BPD might tend to idealize you and everything you do. I had met and knew of his ex, who was in mutual circles to us. Anyway, I get really upset whenever I think about my boyfriend’s ex. Topic: BPD partner's jealous of my success. Offline We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. She's recently, and very suddenly, lost not one, but both her parents. I don’t, but my ex who in hindsight also had BPD was like this with me. • 4 yr. Even had a YouTube channel and all. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb Posts: 32. BPD exes might seek resolution for unresolved issues from the past relationship, hoping to find peace and understanding. Sometimes it's jealousy, Sometimes it's "i'm much better than her" and Sometimes it's just pure hate. It's one of their gas lighting tactics to make you feel like you are the irrational crazy one. bluarrow7. No matter how Jul 10, 2023 · Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Relationship status: broken up Posts: 60 So, to help not overwhelm myself with those negative thoughts, I bought a book to help heal from my past, and right now, I’m working on pursuing my goals. No amount of knowing changes how I feel and it’s just so exhausting being this way. ) I wasn't saying it to her, and 2. Mar 10, 2018 · If you are already in the weeds of jealousy and don’t know how to get over jealousy of ex, here are a couple of practical tips to help you get over the hump. , as potential supplies. All you can do in the meantime is keep your reactions in check. 89K subscribers in the BPDlovedones community. 258 votes, 159 comments. 3 months post breakup. 3. I have to focus on myself and accomplish them. We appeared really happy on the outside for years. So i had to deal with somebody that was very insecure and extremely jealous, those 2 things don’t go together and can make you go nuts. Jealousy occurs when someone or something else is perceived as a threat to your Posted by u/distortedisolation - 5 votes and 3 comments Jan 1, 2021 · Re: Does your ex ever try to make you jealous? Mine never did it to try to make me jealous, he did it because he could never control himself from coming onto other women, even my friends, even right in front of me. But I struggle to not be jealous/ obsessed with the ex of my exBPD. Opening up about your feelings of jealousy can give them the opportunity to understand where you Me and my ex gf recently broke up but we still live together; for now she's sleeping in the living room of our apartment. Healthy people don't try to make their partner's jealous. You realize the damage this person does only slowly and leave when it’s just too much already physically, mentally and emotionally. Slow down, remember who HE is. They will then quickly move on to their next target. If I sense anything is off, I literally will repeatedly ask what’s wrong and how I can make it better. ”. I don’t know why. We ultimately broke up because she felt like I was pushing her away and like I didn't want her in my life anymore, which was untrue, I had just been feeling mentally down overall and it wasn't even because of her specifically. Sometimes I can communicate it. My ex seems to have a sex addiction that’s all she talk about. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: Odd things your BPD ex was jealous about Jan 1, 2021 · It's just a case of playing with fire. Jealousy & BPD Parent. Everytime, I've felt so bad about it, about Always jealous of other girls. I still have to deal with some fleas, but man, life has been so wonderful. Thought Shifting. They usually always end up choosing this other friend over me, so then I just get jealous. Now that you’re out of the relationship, you have a different perspective vs. She got upset that 1. I had images popping up in my mind, what he might have done with the previous girls and they really messed with my head. “If I think someone is mad or upset (particularly my husband) I obsessively ask what’s wrong. She's tried several times to wedge herself in between the good standings I have with others or to intervene in the time I spend with them. If you are worried someone is going to abandon you, you will be hypervigilant to any signs that the person is interested/attracted to someone else because that means he could leave you for her. People with this disorder experience wide mood swings with sudden and intense anger, which I got into my first relationship at 26, a long distance thing as I still lived at home. Offline Or big homes and think evil thoughts and bad wishes onto the families living there. Share. Its because of the fear of abandonment. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but BPD symptoms can make typical relationship problems such as cheating and accusations of infidelity worse. Be honest with him when you need to get it out, but don't place blame or manipulate. She would tell me how beautiful my ex was, and that she herself wasn’t that good looking. She sought often to make me look bad and low in front of family members and friends. I never had any friends so I would be very VERY jealous of popular kids, or anyone who had a best friend (when I did make friends, I was incredibly overbearing and jealous of said person, or find a friend group but I hated hanging with them). "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the… Jul 10, 2023 · Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Relationship status: broken up Posts: 60 Feb 1, 2018 · She’s intelligent, attractive, kind, and my boyfriend loves her unconditionally. But instead of focusing on the past and what you could have done, try to move forward and create a new life for yourself. If we walk by a pretty girl with a nice ass or tits, I feel like the ugliest person in the world. As a gay man at 42 and I have a few health issues I wouldn't get a child through adoption I believe. And if my boyfriend as much as looks in her direction, I seriously want to break up on the spot. 8. I hate my fp for being with other people and I hate myself for thinking that way. Knowing they care about me is no help. May 3, 2024 · Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may initiate contact with their ex-partners for various reasons. She’s ZERO threat to your relationship, don’t ever bring up your feelings about this to him because he’ll lose all respect for you. 5 yrs. Yep, right there with you. 5. I had to really let that sink in how someone could even think and be jealous of that dynamic. Sometimes I can't and I handle it the wrong way. BPDs are masters of projection. But keep in mind that these tips will only assist you and cannot take the place of the real work that is required of you: deep self-reflection and introspection: 1/ You can use the Topic: Urgent: BPD Wife Angry/Jealous of Facebook Post w/ School Friends and Ex-GF (Read 525 times) flourdust. 238K subscribers in the BPD community. Call me crazy, but I’m uncontrollably jealous of my boyfriend’s mom. Oct 8, 2018 · Jealousy and insecurity are normal emotions that everyone experiences, but when someone has borderline personality disorder, BPD traits, past trauma, or emotional sensitivity, the intensity of these emotions can be so much stronger — to the point of feeling unbearable. I never talk about my ex… Went out w ny ex after 1. I also always feel like my friends mean more to me than I mean to them, and then all sorts of jealousy just makes that worse. She’s the woman he’ll always love most. I hate saying that I get jealous because I hate jealousy, but yes. I know the hardest part for me is verbal communication. I just want to be normal and not so jealous. In my head everything he’s done with me he’s done with someone else and it makes me sick. OUR DAUGHTER. 5 months of breaking up, he got a gf. I know that I shouldn't feel jealous or even worried, but I do. Jul 10, 2023 · Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Relationship status: broken up Posts: 60 Jul 10, 2023 · A perspective on BPD Ivan Spielberg, PhD BPDFamily. I’ve been dating my bf for 11 months, he is my first stable boyfriend and my first love. Apr 13, 2014 · by justagirl00 » Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:39 pm. It is a terrible loss, and I do my best to be there for her. Yep - It's all about making you jealous. I was told it was "pathetic" to have female friends and that I only did it I (32f) honestly get this same way with my wife and people she talks to online. It brings out that heavy, heart-dropping feeling that makes me want to listen to Duster and sob under the cover for hours. persistent fantasies of success, perfection, or power. Apr 12, 2024 · BPDFamily. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I am 19 and he is 22 and when he was around my age he met his first stable girlfriend whom he dated for 2 years and 9 months. Communicate openly with your partner. Don’t Dwell On The Past. 5 Share. Members Online I remembered an embarrassing memory of my ex best friend before I even know about this disorder I have the same problem, my therapist taught me “radical acceptance” meaning its okay to be a jealous person (its natural) but how you react to your jealousy is important, try talking to your bf about all your triggers and fears and work out a safe word to tell him when your feeling this way so things dont get out of hand, work on your own self esteem, practice walking away from the Jan 10, 2019 · Breaking up with a narcissist is hard. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 5 votes and 5 comments Oct 21, 2022 · Recap. Jan 1, 2021 · Re: Do they Become Jealous When She Finds You are Dating or with Someone New? « Reply #1 on: January 21, 2015, 05:51:52 AM ». ) that I could love my daughter more than her. 12 votes, 12 comments. She treated us like she hated us when we got older and eventually discarded us and completely abandoned her family by the time we were 10. That is, the more she devalues you in the end, is directly correlated to how much she idealized the next person. Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) BPD is a mental health disorder characterized by intense emotional swings, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, and a wavering sense of self. My best friend also has BPD. 18months in we move in together. 1. You’ve broken the obsession, and are in the safe space of reality. The first thought in my head when I see one is that “she’s a threat”. A ton. alteregosluville. Its like when I like a guy, I just want him to like me more than he's ever liked anyone before. I don’t know what to do and I’m so upset that this is fucking happening to me again. This means they consider this person as a trusted friend, confidant, and counselor all wrapped in one. rn zk zp dg jx el ly pv aq kw